My Name Is
by acidfinn
Summary: Do androids think in random blocks? You bet they do...


**My Name is...**

My name is Andromeda.

Strange name for a person. Not so strange for a starship (or preferably, warship). Where was I now? Oh yes...

My name is Andromeda.

But you can call me Rommie.

They all call me Rommie, the crew I mean. I kinda like it, but _Andromeda _sounds more intimidating. Don't you think so? _Rommie _sounds more...affectionate. Can I call it that without getting persecuted for having feelings? Hmm. See, this is what annoys me, I have a brain the size of a planet, and a database big enough to get lost in, and it's those simple, stupid little questions I can't answer by myself. I have to ask Harper. Or Trance. Occasionally Dylan or Beka or...well no, I suppose I can't include Rhade on that list.

My name is Andromeda.

But you can call me Rommie.

Doesn't _Rommie _sound kinda pretty? I like it...do you? I do...did I say that already? Sorry. Y'know what bugs me the most about myself (this is off-topic but whatever)? I can never seem to formulate an opinion on my own. Sure, I can compile the facts and the odds of a situation and come up with a theoretical solution to every problem life can possibly throw at me (except for a certain problem by the name of Captain Hunt) but an actual opinion?

For example, the whole Nietzschean vs. Human fiasco (a word I've heard Harper call it before) it's one of the biggest issues in the entire universe and I don't even have a stance on it. Me. An unbelievably powerful warship...and people ask me if there's anything I can't do...ha! Even _children_ have fact-based and well thought-out opinions on the Nietzschean-Human struggle for dominance (no, not _that _sort of dominance). Hell, _Harper _has a fact-based and well thought-out opinion on the subject...and Harper almost never has a fact-based and well-thought out whatever on anything. Except me of course. But like I said, I'm an unbelievably powerful warship and if Harper was not my engineer, he'd probably qualify as my stalker. Either way, I'd say I'm stuck with him.

My name is Andromeda.

But you can call me Rommie.

Do you think there's an after-life for androids? I hope so. Or do I? Hmm...perhaps, if that means Gabriel's there, I'm all for it. After I die I mean...or explode...or get hacked and forced to self destruct. Wow. This is depressing. I bet you didn't know warships could be depressed. Well they can. I certainly am most of the time. What with having a Captain and crew running rampant around the universe everyday seeking reasons to get us all killed...er...explode...exploded? Minus Harper of course. Harper doesn't seek reasons to get us all killed, he spends most of his time seeking attraction from members of the opposite sex. However it's a two-way street, reasons for death often find Harper.

Beka and Rhade have a theory that someday Harper might find his significant "other" and by then it will be genetically possible for men to give birth (Beka and Rhade spend _a lot_ of time bored to death on the Maru). I guess the universe _really _does not like Mr.Harper. Or me for that matter. But I have a bit of a reputation for spreading (but Dylan calls it resolving) the chaos that goes on in the universe.

My name is Andromeda.

But you can call me Rommie.

Yes you heard (or read, depending on whether or not you're invading my privacy for fun, or you're just bored) correctly. I said that name 'Gabriel' and did not bother expanding on the subject/really emotionally traumatic experience that I'd rather not talk about. But I will anyways. See? I'm not as much of a control freak as you all think.

Gabriel. Gabriel, Gabriel, Gabriel. How long has it been now? I'm not sure. Now if you understand what he did and didn't do to me, you'll understand how warships can get depressed. But don't worry; I won't stay depressed for long. Harper'll come along and make a Nietzschean joke that will prompt Rhade to assault him. That always cheers me up. That and Dylan's just about to step out of the...

Eheh. Moving on...

My name is Andromeda.

But you can call me Rommie.

I think I've said that a few times already. You don't mind do you? Sometimes I go a little insane and I have to vent it all out (both metaphorically and literally speaking). Bet you've never heard a warship ramble on about her synthetic little life...er, big life, considering that, well...I'm huge.

I also am capable of having a love life equivalent to the angst/misery level of those soap opera things my dear little engineer is always sobbing over (remember I do see _everything _that goes on inside of...me).

Let's count now, my past/lost/dead/unattainable/freakishly obsessed (Harper) loves. Exhibit A: The Gabriel. (We've covered this haven't we? Let's move on).

Exhibit B: Captain Metis. Ah, Captain Metis. "Counting down from a thousand," ooh...I regret saying that, it ruins my shiny hard; metal alloy mystique (doesn't take away from the fact that he was a good kisser though).

Exhibit C: Seamus Zelazny Harper. Ever wonder who gave him that middle name? Whatever. Goes to show how much effort I put into my replies to his constant pick-up lines. _Very_ constant pick-up lines.

And last, I reveal to you, Exhibit D: Captain Hunt. Dylan. "That Commonwealth Guy." He goes by many names throughout the galaxy (though I do have a personal favourite). Getting back to the specimen...Dylan. You know, when I meet new people, I memorize the sound of their heartbeat and keep all of them locked up tightly in my database for further reference. But Dylan's heartbeat...I keep that one sealed in a glass case at the back of my _very _large, _very_ extensive mind (I like to brag). Sometimes, when I have free time, I like to take it out of its package and listen to it. Is that creepy? I suppose I wouldn't know.

My name is Andromeda.

But you can call me Rommie.

Or can you? I suppose it depends on who you are. Don't think I let just _anyone _call me that. Like I said, it's meant for crew only. Have I been leading you on here? Sorry. Rommie...where do you suppose they chose Rommie? They could have always called me...oh I don't know, Andy, maybe? _Andy_. Ick...never mind.

My name is Andromeda.

But _they _can call me Rommie.

_They_, meaning, Dylan, Harper, Beka, Trance, Rhade and other individuals who I specify. Otherwise I am the Andromeda Ascendant. And as Harper (I reference to him a lot as an excuse for my occasional insanity) would say, bite me. But you probably shouldn't. The Commonwealth would not be responsible for any dental work you might have to endure afterwards. I think I'm getting off topic again.

My name is Andromeda.

Andromeda.

_Andromeda_. It's more of an order than a name really. The_ Andromeda Ascendant_. Sounds like the name of some saint...which is a terrible comparison to make. I am a warship. Warships blow stuff up. Generally, saints don't blow stuff up, so I guess I don't qualify as one. I do however, as my crew has state many times, qualify as a friend and fellow comrade. Nothing more of course, to any of them. Except maybe Harper who is the only one (besides myself, secretly) who opposes that rules. But still...there has to be a reason I was given emotions, feelings. By now usually, the name _Dylan _would come to mind but I often wonder to what extent I really do feel. Do I feel pain and suffering in the same way they do? Like they feel fear, anger, motivation, courage, love?

My name is Andromeda...

Warship. Comrade. Friend.

And you know, I do have a database that spans over the Known Universe, a very talented crew as well as weapons that could blow you to molecular bits in seconds. But how much do you really know? How much do "I" really know? Very little in fact. In the midst of Harper's tortured past, Beka's occasional threat of betrayal, Rhade's Nietzschean outbursts, Trance's mysterious persona, Dylan and his mission, and my fear of losing them for not being to protect them, I do tend to get a little lost. The fact that whenever my Captain…whenever Dylan, walks by, my sensors go crazy for reasons I fear and also understand, doesn't help much. And I get the feeling that he knows it too. It's big scary, murderous, beautiful universe out there and sometimes I'm only sure of one thing.

My name is Andromeda.

But you can call me Rommie.

''**Fin**

* * *

A/N: I just got to thinking about how Rommie would write in a somewhat of a journal imitation and this is what happened. She really is a fantastic character. I know I really should be working on _Help! The Captain has Gone Crazy!_ but I just saw _A Symmetry of Imperfection _for the first time and I simply had to write it. I promise I'll get to updating soon. Like this? Hate this? Let me know if possible. (Constructive) Criticism, compliments, strange ramblings and even flames (provided they're spelt with proper grammar) are all welcomed with open arms. Not everyone likes Rommie…I understand that…oh no wait, I don't. She rocks. Period. 

I'll just disappear now. **poof**


End file.
